Imma Be a Bank

With credit to John McEnroe (“You can’t be serious!”), was it hard to believe that American Express, Goldman Sachs and other financial institutions morphed into bank holding companies to save their own skin during the onset of the Grecession (the Great Recession)?! This conversion, courtesy the Federal Reserve but at taxpayer expense, has brought near-overnight success and billions in profits to these newly formed banks by allowing instantaneous pocketing of ~2.5% on every dollar which passes through their hands. Enough with that! We’re going to file to become a bank! Our firm has no debt, so our application will look at least as attractive as American Express’. Arbitrage, here we come. Please let us know if you’d like to join in.

Our bank will trade in derivatives, of course. In 2009, we wrote an article launching our new concept of ‘Office Space Derivatives’. Hopefully the new financial reform bill won’t exclude this instrument from the exposure it deserves.

Moody’s, S+P and Fitch will likely give us an AAA-rating. With a little luck, Warren Buffet (Moody’s largest investor, who knows not where Moody’s is located) could be our anchor investor.


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